Kommando Skwad
by Kulgur
Summary: When the usual orky tactics of "duff em over" fail, sometimes a Warboss needs another option. If you have a problem, if no other boyz can help, and if you can find them drunk in the pub somewhere, maybe you have enough teef to hire, the Kommando Sqwad.


The system of Caldera was a bastion of defense for half a dozen other systems in the year 976 M41. Furious swirling warpstorms flanked the system, creating a corridor leading from the The Veiled Region to Segmentum Tempestus. For countless generations this system had stood, defying the xenos and heretics that would plunder it and the systems beyond. This state of affairs continued until the invasion of "Daffgub da ead'itter", whose particular brand of warfare managed to force a landing on the forest world of caldera IV. This fearsome Ork Warlord was very tactically astute, knowing such advanced tactics as "Leg it lads", "Shoot da choppy stuff an chop da shooty stuff" and "When da lads charge, stop firin da boomguns".

Of particular note should be the role played by the Blood Axe Warlord's "Kommando Skwads", who were particularly effective in cracking open the reinforced bastions of the Caldera 23rd Imperial Guard, with one particular squad of twelve managing to breach high command with little to no outside help. This is their story.

"WAKE UP YA GITS!" bellowed Leada, "We' ve got us some ordas! Where's snipa?"  
"Off teachin sum of dose Snakebite gits we found 'ow ter 'andle a shoota boss." replied Herda, Leada's second in command "I fink 'e took me ammo grot wiv im."  
"Bah 'oo needs im?" said Flashgit, yawning "Just cos he can hit a target wiv er," he looked at his fingers, his lips moving silently, "one clip. Wot use is dat? We've got loadsa clips!"  
"Yeah, but a grot can only carry so much dakka, den where are ya? Yer down da drops wivout a ladder, dat's where!" retorted Herda  
Flashgit grumbled and started donning his chains, all twenty-six of them.  
"Well where's da rest of em? Doc an Mek an Weirdo?" questioned Leada  
"Last I saw boss, Mek an Doc was workin' on da Kans. I fink Mek woz tapin in grots an Doc woz helpin im. Dunno where Weirdo's gone, 'e's got 'is minda wiv im so 'e should be alright."

Leada took a look around the hut that served as his squad's barracks, as well as somewhere to store loot, staring into the fire was the, always quiet Burna, so there would be no trouble with mysterious fires breaking out in the camp, but where was...  
"HERDA! WHERE'S TANKA?"  
"Uh... uh, I dunno boss!"  
"FER GORK'S SAKE! I TOLD YOU TER KEEP AN EYE ON IM!"  
"I.. I know boss, but you said..."

Leada silenced Herda with his fist. If Tanka was on the loose in the vehicle depot again... he was still getting yelled at about the last time the tankhunter got loose unsupervised.

"RIGHT YOU GITS! I WANT YOU TER GET DA REST OF DA SQWAD, BACK ERE, IN LESS TIME DEN IT TAKES A LOOTA TER NICK YA TEEF! NOW!"  
There was a scramble for the door.  
"NOT you Burna, I aint lettin YOU out of me sight alone again! Not after da boss's hut mysteriously caught fire last time..." Leada grabbed his second in command, who was slowly managing to stagger to his feet.  
"Herda, yer go wiv im, maybe yer can do DAT right!"

***

Tanka stalked through the clearing that served as the Ork base camp, with his tankhamma at the ready. Other Orks seeing him gave him a wide berth, possibly because of the mad gleam in his eye, but more likely because of the fact he carried enough explosives to level a small town prominently displayed on his person. Stikkbombs hung from many hooks in his leather shirt, and on his back, one gigantic shield shaped device known as a "tankbusta bomb" was held on via magnets to a metal plate on his back.

Gradually he managed to close on his prey: The Mek's garage with a large looted imperial guard vehicle outside. It wasn't moving, but that didn't fool Tanka for one second. It could be playing dead, lying in wait to spring out at him like other big game sometimes sometimes did. He crept closer to his target...

***

Snipa was not enjoying himself. Upon arriving on Caldera IV, the Orks had found there weren't alone. Feral Orks, remnants of some past Orkish attempt to take this world and so feral they didn't even use guns, had come down from the mountains to join the WAAAGH and Shoota had been press ganged into teaching them how to use a gun. It was not going well.

"Right! Let's try dis again. DIS" he said, pointing at the muzzle "is where da dakka comes OUT. Dat means, when you pull DIS," he said, pointing at the trigger, "it should be pointin' at da humie, NOT at yer face as yer try an look down DIS" he said, pointing at the muzzle again, as a pair of grot orderlies dragged away the recently deceased snakebite, who had a gaping hole in his head from checking to see where the bullet came from.

"Now if yer fink yer can handle dat, we'll move on ter DESE" said Shoota, holding up a stikkbomb. He tossed it in the air and caught it a few times, thoughtfully as he surveyed the crowd.

***

"See? Dere's da problem!" said Mek from atop his rickety ladder "Da wire's pulled outta 'is 'ead again!" the one-eyed Mek looked round from where he'd been peering into the cockpit of a stricken walker. "OI, BODGIT," he yelled at one of his gretchin assistants, "LOB ME SOME TAPE! Soon sort it out" he assured Dok, who was peering in from the other side on an equally rickety ladder.

The pale green gretchin dived into the Mek's tool kit in a shower of tools, to emerge moments later with a large roll of duct tape. Swiftly the grot scampered up the ladder next to Mek and handed him the tape.

"Now, where's dat wire go in again..." murmured Mek  
"There!" said the Dok, pointing "right in da back"

Mek took the loose bit of wire, and stabbed it into the back of the grot pilot's head, before wrapping it's head with duct tape several times to hopefully keep it in place for long enough for the Killa Kan to last at least a battle.

"Dere, dat'll... hey, aint dat Tanka over dere?" exclaimed Mek, pointing a finger over toward the crude fence that seperated the vehicle depot from the rest of the camp.


End file.
